threescore

I am reliably informed that these are worth it. My source stinks of swede, but what can I say, so does Ikea.

10. Fingers

9. Archiebear

8. Skwish

7. Bluebear

6. Top of cafetiere

5. Paper

4. Concord Banana Mash

3. Mummy’s fingers

2. Baby spoon

1. Big Left Toe

And, on average, the crew were boys last Sunday. With a baby, priorities do change somewhat.

Yesterday we had another exciting adventure in the story of Lily. We went to see two uncles, two aunts, two Sarahs, four alpacas, six goats, a number of chickens including a scary rooster called Admiral and a fox. We managed the whole day in real nappies. Not me, Lily.

I am thinking I need a daily routine, but when she is busy meeting so many people and travelling around, sleeps and feeds aren’t so easy to maintain. Maybe I’m too laid back. In the past I probably cared about which was the pestle and which was the mortar, but now I’m just happy if they are used to make interesting and/or junior cuisine c/o Lily’s daddy and uncle. Maybe I did know and forgot.

To kick-start my brain back I have decided to reinforce my NT Greek reading, by joining a local group. I am the youngest member and rely on my interlinear still, but have to say the academic social scene is just what I’ve been missing. If weaning continues to be a success I may get to the next few meetings on my own. It would make a change from just philosophising.

Since dad’s heart attack I have been quietly concerned about health in general. I do not believe in giving up chocolate for Lent, but often observe dad’s tradition of no pancakes after Shrove Tuesday. It’s fair. I am also doing a lot more exercise than I ever believed I could, but not in a lycra or gym-pass kind of way. Babies in slings are much happier and stranger-friendly than carrying extra weight by other methods.

So the local NCT group are holding a couple of sessions on baby first aid and emergency life support. Sounds like a good idea. I have run out of stamps and envelopes so I meant to apply later today. At £25 a time it meant that I wouldn’t be able to go to as many local courses on other baby-enhancing activities, but it was a sacrifice I was prepared to make. I don’t really need the biscuits.

Today I discovered three free sessions of baby first aid running in my area. Maybe I should do those instead. Then maybe we should apply to do Baby Astronomy with all the other little stars, even though it is way past Lily’s bedtime. (She has no other free time left on her social calendar.)

And in any case, I am signing up for the Race with a Baby in a Sling for Life very soon. Just need to collect more data from the girls in my NCT ante-natal group before we can apply.

If you are reading this Lily, your mummy is quite surprised. You are behaving so much better today, thank you. Too bad we’re not in public. That nasty cold must have gone away again. It’s a shame about the nappy smell, but we’ll deal with that imminently.

I don’t think the biometric detailing on your new passport measures smell (yet). Let’s leave that to the animals. 

Maybe we should get a cat… I would like to personally thank Charlie for his services at mum and dad’s (see today’s BBC article about health).

But I know even less about bringing up a cat than I do about bringing up a baby. And I’m pretty sure they don’t have passports in the UK (yet).

What’s that? Yawning while mummy types with one hand? Litter tray time.

in all their various forms.

I let a driver pull out in front of me because he and his passenger both wore baseball caps.

Let me quote a wise uncle of mine on the matter:

Odd socks do work - if you are a physiotherapist. If you are a baby it makes your mum look incompetent or foolish.

But if you are a baby with two socks on at this moment I applaud you.

And if you are a baby with two socks on and you are reading this I think your mum should stop lying.

I got a nice letter through the post today from my headmaster, which was rather quick considering I only resigned yesterday. Nice to feel the school cares. I noticed that the letterhead had changed. That was quick too.

Here are some other true observations I made today.

1. At the post office, waiting for Lily’s passport to be ‘check-and-send’ed and a parcel for Germany to be just weighed, I saw DVDs for learning foreign languages. Not a surprise: mum pointed them out to me the other week. One is for learning English. Every word on it, including complicated blurb and instructions for how to get the DVD were in English. I think you had to swear allegiance to the Beckhams and Gladiators and soggy chips in triplicate with valid ID before you were allowed to buy it.

2. Looking for a new buggy (or stroller, as I have to call it at Mothercare), I have found ones that suit from age 0 to age 5, and are guaranteed for 12 months. I do not intend to have children of the accelerated variety, so we may just have to take the chance on the remaining years.

3. Lily has something snuffly and is grizzling a lot and losing sleep, so I bought her a baby vaporub, which smells of a comfortable night’s sleep and says on the side that it must not be used if the baby is allergic to any of the ingredients or is under 3 months old. Neither must the parents use it if any of the above applies to them. Thankfully I too am over 3 months old. That was a close one.

was that I handed in my notice. We had to wait for some answers to technical questions and be certain that it was best to resign now, but it gives the school the longest possible time to try and find a maths teacher for September. Five and a half months - I hope it gives them long enough. (It’s longer than Lily has been alive).

I am filling in an application for a job as a home tutor for the local education area, so we will wait and see what comes.

There is a weird technicality about whether I can keep some of my maternity pay (the occupational maternity part). I would need to work 30 more days after the date I am due to leave, for the same employer. This is possible, but unlikely. I am hoping to do a day a week. The work has to be continuous and tutors work on a casual basis. I could miss a session through lack of work on the 29th week and lose quite a lot of money.

But I definitely am not staying at the school, even though I would have loved to. They genuinely cannot offer me a day a week.

And maybe it is time for new things.

I also filled in a new CRB form today to work in the church creche and sorted out Lily’s passport application. I am hoping to arrange her nursery application soon: there has been a lot of form-filling and finding of important documents at our house this week.

but Lily loves moonsquirter sauce!

Had to go out and buy a baby spoon this morning, as she chews my finger pretty hard.

Which you probably knew already: those who use Binary, and those who don’t. 

Here are some interesting types of folk I’ve encountered recently: 

 1. I sat next to an Italian mum today in ‘Baby Buddies’ and explained what the health visitor was talking about. Very exciting. I don’t think they have a word for ‘lap’ in Italian. (Shame). I think eleven-year-olds are allowed to actually sit on car seats in Italy. (Intriguing).

2. Like the rest of my ante-natal group, I’ve discovered that at this point in my life I am moulting ridiculous amounts of no-longer-pregnant hair. It looks like the day after Crufts at our house and I’m surprised I’m not bald.

3. Squealy McSqueal had a passport photo taken today, and thankfully we got a good result (after turning round and lunging forward ruined the first two). I am not holding out much hope of it being acceptable however, as I have no idea WHAT the Guild of Passport Blurb Writers think they are on about.

4. Viewing nurseries has proved to me that quality does indeed vary, as testified by expressions on faces and the rule of messiness being inversely proportional to happiness in toddlers. The best places weren’t the ones I expected, but I picked up good ideas for activities and child-friendly furniture from most.

5. Most places that do weekday lunches do not do their fifteen-minute ‘meal or money back’ offers if there are 14 persons present and 7 of them are under 5 months old, but the staff are more smiley than usual and happier to bring drinks to the tables.

6. My mentee and I agreed that the more likely a young person is to have real issues, the quieter they are about them. And vice versa.

7. Blind boys find babies fascinating too.

8. When new people join your church it is interesting to see if you are related, even though you were born in completely different places. And then to see if you are related to the minister. In my case this actually happened last weekend.

9. Health visitors recommend baby products which are good for their skin (15 times thinner than adults’, apparently), but have no problem with them going swimming in chlorine-filled pools with a hint of water and coming out blotchy and red.

10. However much you smile, there are always some people who do not smile back. But most do.

My new favourite song, since finding a £4 gem of a CD at Woolworths last week, is Alma Cogan’s In the Middle of the House. What a hoot! We do not have room for a railroad track in the middle of our property, but we do have Scalextric from time to time and I’m saving up for some Brio.

I received my first Mothering Sunday card yesterday from my daughter (whose handwriting looks remarkably like her father’s). I also got chocolates and flowers, but only at home. We did not do Mothering Sunday at church this year. Too sensitive all round, what with various sad departures and friends of ours having lost a baby when he was born in October. Clare held Lily for a while in church yesterday and always asks how she is doing. They have put up more photos of Theo on their own blog recently.

I have to agree that celebrating mothers in public, along with an excess of saccharine or lateral  TV advertisements (”Who needs daffodils Mum when you can have a Nintendo DS?”) really is unfair on many people who do not have a living mother, as well as those who have suffered in their own upbringing or route to parenthood. It rubs salt in the wound, and pretends to kiss it better.

Some people say mother’s day is unfair on fathers, although they may like to look into the history of it all. I find it quite reasonable that my dad does not approve of Father’s Day, being manufactured by such kind-hearted capitalists as Hallmark. As my husband does actually send his father a card, we shall have to see what Lily decides to do in June…

Personally I would far rather encourage and thank both of my parents for their tireless and patient work bringing me up by living a decent and honest life, full of effort for others, hard work and love for family. Where I cannot pay them back I intend to pay the reward forward to my own child and any other children later.

Including singing along with Alma Cogan, when necessary.