threescore

I was checking my old friend multimap.com earlier today to find my way to a baby signing group, and discovered by entering my postcode that not only can I view my house in map format (up to a very close ratio) and view a grainy satellite view (with or without road labels), but I can now take a bird’s-eye view, looking North, South, East, or should I feel like it, West.

And I’m not talking skylark view here. This is full swoop pigeon’s-eye view, or sparrow’s, if you choose to face South (in my postcode’s case) and view the property from the garden.

[Why do some birds stay roadside and some gardenside?]

I feel it has all gone too far. I looked at where I live and discovered, depending on the Chosen Direction, that I could summon the cars of Christmases past in various arrangements. One view (North) included a Fiesta that belonged to my parents a while ago. At least two views have the boy’s old sports car (sold in July 2006), but East clearly shows the Smarter new option. And there is No Sign of the University. What can I say?

Be warned - not every postcode does this. You can breathe a sigh of relief if you live in the sticks, in any county in England or Wales. By the time the aerial photography plane reaches you, you will be on to the next car I wager.

Anyway, the place I was looking for was too hard to find this way, so I just drove in the general direction and found it regardless.

William Shakespeare would have been 444 today, if he hadn’t died. But only in decimal.

I will be 11111 next month, but only in binary.

I do not have a flag to wave on this auspicious day, but I have noted how English it all is outside today - the rain is out, the road has fallen through and there is a traffic cone on the pavement opposite for no good reason. My post arrived at midday, milk went up 4p this morning and I wasn’t well enough to go to my hospital physio this morning. Neither did I have enough cash for the parking there. I am in fact reasonably pleased that dragons have not featured in my day to this point. I suppose if one did I’d have to hurry out and buy a red and white flag to wave at it to make it go away. Nasty dragons, coming over here taking our milk, breaking our roads and holding up the posties. It all makes one feel like a nice cup of tea and a sit down.

I meant to put up some photos here this week, but have struggled to upload them to t’internet since wordpress changed the internal workings of the blogs. I will talk to a man who Understands these things and normal blogging will hopefully resume soon. In the meantime, please hum a pleasant tune to yourself and count daffodils.

And, on average, the crew were boys last Sunday. With a baby, priorities do change somewhat.

Yesterday we had another exciting adventure in the story of Lily. We went to see two uncles, two aunts, two Sarahs, four alpacas, six goats, a number of chickens including a scary rooster called Admiral and a fox. We managed the whole day in real nappies. Not me, Lily.

I am thinking I need a daily routine, but when she is busy meeting so many people and travelling around, sleeps and feeds aren’t so easy to maintain. Maybe I’m too laid back. In the past I probably cared about which was the pestle and which was the mortar, but now I’m just happy if they are used to make interesting and/or junior cuisine c/o Lily’s daddy and uncle. Maybe I did know and forgot.

To kick-start my brain back I have decided to reinforce my NT Greek reading, by joining a local group. I am the youngest member and rely on my interlinear still, but have to say the academic social scene is just what I’ve been missing. If weaning continues to be a success I may get to the next few meetings on my own. It would make a change from just philosophising.

I didn’t have to worry really - the service went ok this morning. I finished preparing at midnight (or 1:00?), and fed Lily at 1:00 (or 2:00?) and got up again a few hours later. Next time I preach I’ll remember not to have a baby 4 months beforehand.

In regional news, a team of rowers from a local university came second in a tournament in London. Well done, boys!

I am preaching on Sunday about worry, from a passage which claims that the lilies of the field do not labour or spin.

Here is my dramatic spin on it.

Jobcentre employee

Red, a carnation

Red is sitting in a vase on a table. The Jobcentre employee arrives with a clipboard and glasses on. Throughout she emphasizes the syllables in bold, fiddles with a pen and gestures with both hands on the nouns. She is slightly nasal.

She shakes a leaf with the flower.

J:          Hello? Hello, are you here for the 11:00 appointment? Pleased to meet you. So, you are [looking at notes] Red. May I call you Red?

R:         [silent]

J:          Good. My name is Bredwina [adjusts glasses] and I’ll be your employment advisory consultant today. We usually start with a quick interview to ascertain your [“”] skills-and-qualifications and to really just see what kind of position you are looking for.

R:         [silent]

J:          Ok. So, I see from your CV that you have experience in the field. What field, can I ask, have you got experience in? [peers at Red]

R:         [silent]

J:          And is that local? [pretends to write on clipboard]

R:         [silent]

J:          Yes. And would you be able to get references?

R:         [silent]

J:          Now I need to know, have you got any transferable [“”] skills-and-qualifications which we can write on the next part of the application form, anything at all Red? Any experience with people? Telephone skills? Using computers? Management? [pause] None of those? Ok.

R:         [silent]

J:          Would you say, that you have any work-related, transferable, national or vocational, educational, informational or qualificational skills at all at this present moment in time? [pause] You don’t. That means we skip [turns pages] section 3b, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 and up to 17 and jump to section 18a. [calls] Code 18a!

R:         [silent]

J:          So, Red, what kind of position are you looking for?

R:         [silent]

J:          Mmm, mmm, mmm. [ticking boxes] And would you say that you are free to begin employment as of Monday? [looks up] You would. And do you have a licence for Heavy Goods Vehicles? [looks up] You don’t. And are you prepared to work shifts? [looks up] No. Ok. Let me just bring up the positions available today on the computer screen. Let’s see. [taps] No. No. No. No. Can you travel any distance from home? No.

R:         [silent]

J:          Well, I have to say Red, that we don’t seem to have anything that is cut out for you today. I believe that we will have more positions in chimney sweeping in the near future so if you would like to keep in touch with the office here, you know where we are. Thank you Red. [calls] Next!

 NOTHING is so beautiful as spring—

 When weeds, in wheels, shoot long and lovely and lush;

 Thrush’s eggs look little low heavens, and thrush

Through the echoing timber does so rinse and wring

 The ear, it strikes like lightnings to hear him sing;

  The glassy peartree leaves and blooms, they brush

  The descending blue; that blue is all in a rush

 With richness; the racing lambs too have fair their fling.

What is all this juice and all this joy?

 A strain of the earth’s sweet being in the beginning

In Eden garden.—Have, get, before it cloy,

 Before it cloud, Christ, lord, and sour with sinning,

Innocent mind and Mayday in girl and boy,

Most, O maid’s child, thy choice and worthy the winning.

This was on the radio earlier today and because I like GMH and because I like Spring and because I am supposed to be writing a sermon and not doing this, here it is.

Since dad’s heart attack I have been quietly concerned about health in general. I do not believe in giving up chocolate for Lent, but often observe dad’s tradition of no pancakes after Shrove Tuesday. It’s fair. I am also doing a lot more exercise than I ever believed I could, but not in a lycra or gym-pass kind of way. Babies in slings are much happier and stranger-friendly than carrying extra weight by other methods.

So the local NCT group are holding a couple of sessions on baby first aid and emergency life support. Sounds like a good idea. I have run out of stamps and envelopes so I meant to apply later today. At £25 a time it meant that I wouldn’t be able to go to as many local courses on other baby-enhancing activities, but it was a sacrifice I was prepared to make. I don’t really need the biscuits.

Today I discovered three free sessions of baby first aid running in my area. Maybe I should do those instead. Then maybe we should apply to do Baby Astronomy with all the other little stars, even though it is way past Lily’s bedtime. (She has no other free time left on her social calendar.)

And in any case, I am signing up for the Race with a Baby in a Sling for Life very soon. Just need to collect more data from the girls in my NCT ante-natal group before we can apply.

in all their various forms.

I let a driver pull out in front of me because he and his passenger both wore baseball caps.

Let me quote a wise uncle of mine on the matter: